This will come as no surprise…

…but my blogging days are over. I have been agonizing over writing this post for a couple months now, and putting it off, but with a to-do list a mile long that never gets shorter, it’s time to finally cross this off the list.

Though I don’t feel like I owe anyone an explanation, I always wish for one when a blogger I follow stops posting – I guess that’s my need for loose ends to be tied. So here I am. Because I find this a bit emotional, I’m going to (try to) make this short and sweet.

Though there are bloggers out there that are super women that can find time to both blog and being a mother, I personally cannot. While I was on maternity leave, it was entirely possible, and though my posting slowed down, it was more because I was barely washing my face (at first, anyway), let alone wearing makeup. And once Elena started napping well, I took those moments of downtime to do the same. But since being back to work, finding the time to do much of anything is extremely difficult. And now that Elena’s older and only needs one nap a day, on the weekends we’re pretty much flat out the entire day. In the evenings, I get about 2 hours after she goes to bed to ‘relax’ (which usually involves watching a TV show or YouTube vid while simultaneously cleaning / packing a lunch / doing minor DIY renos around the house (I’ve painted 4 rooms by myself) – OR, spending time trying to plan our wedding, which is in 3 months, eek!) before I pass out from exhaustion around 9:30pm. All this to say, blogging is the last thing on my mind – I just don’t have a slot in my day where it fits anymore.

For a while, I felt guilty about feeling this way, because I could potentially throw up a post here and there – I mean, I have time to somehow paint my nails every week, so I must have some time, right? But as any mother will know, you start getting very selective with how any free time is spent – if you get 15 minutes of every day to do what you LIKE (not have to do), you want to fill it with something that gives you the most pleasure. Unsurprisingly, for me that’s often beauty-related – I still take the time every morning to apply my makeup (there are many tricks employed to keep Elena busy, mind you!), and as mentioned I paint my nails religiously every Sunday and Thursday. That doesn’t sound all that crazy when you read it, but it’s easy for people to judge – back in April when I was at the dentist she said to me ‘Wow, your nails are painted and you have a small child, you must have a lot of time on your hands!’ (to which I replied in my head ‘FUCK YOU, LADY’). The judgement actually kind of shocked me, because here was this woman who herself had two children – doesn’t she understand what it’s like? How you take any moment you can that seems like ‘free’ time to do something for yourself so you can keep your sanity? Huh. Guess not. In any case, after that comment I stopped feeling guilty about how I spent my alone/down time (because truthfully, I just felt pissed off after that), and realized that everyone manages those moments differently. We’re all just trying to survive.

Long story short (is anyone surprised I couldn’t help myself from babbling on?), blogging no longer feels like a ‘me’ outlet anymore. PR samples only gave me stress because I felt like I needed to post about everything that was sent my way. Coming up with original content was a HUGE challenge because the blogosphere is so saturated with other blogs doing the same thing over and over (and many of them doing it SO much better than I!). Rather than feeling like I was sharing my passion for beauty (which is still going strong, as ever), I got bogged down by all of it and this wonderful outlet became just another chore for me on my never-ending list.

So here I am, and here we are. I’ve been blogging for 8 years (!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and sadly it’s time for that chapter to close. I don’t feel regretful or conflicted though; I met some fantastic, amazing, wonderful people who enriched (and still enrich) my life in so many ways. Most of those people I’ve never met in person yet I feel such a kinship with them – it’s so weird how you can connect via social media or on someone’s blog and the friendships endure even if you are the most absentee blogger around. It makes me smile, and it makes me feel like it’s OK that I won’t be blogging anymore, because I still have those connections and that’s really what it was all about for me, anyway.

If you still want to keep up with me, I’m most easily found on Instagram – though it’s often full of pictures of Elena, I still plan to post snaps of makeup and skincare stuff that’s rocking my world – I mean, I still troll Sephora.com on a daily basis, so that beauty-centric part of me is never going away! Oh, and if you tune in around September 10th, you’ll likely see photos from the wedding (and of my MOST AMAZING DRESS)!

Thank you for joining me on this journey. I appreciate every single one of you who stopped by and read and/or commented on posts – you guys are the BEST! Be sure to stay in touch, ok??? ❤ 🙂

xo Latoya

  1. #1 by Larie on June 9, 2016 - 9:01 am

    Aw, I’m sorry to hear this, but I do understand! Even without children, our lives are busy and crazy and there’s barely time to paint my nails, lol, so I totally get it. I can’t believe how judgmental people are about children/lack of children/parenting styles/other people’s lives in general, and I don’t know how people deal with it. If I ever have a kid, I’m probably going to have to walk around with a big “Fuck off” sign. Seriously. Having a kid is no reason to lose yourself, and realistically, doing that makes everyone unhappy – because if you’re unhappy, you’re not going to be able to provide an independent, happy role model for your kid, and that’s important, too. So you do you! I think closing up your blog will be a huge sigh of relief, and without the stress and obligation, you may find that you are on instagram more often…WHICH I WOULD LOVE, because that’s probably my favorite way of keeping up with everyone and their lives 🙂 Best of luck, Toya!!!

    • #2 by Latoya on June 9, 2016 - 10:19 am

      Thanks Larie! You are definitely one of the people I meant when I spoke about the relationships made via the blog, and I’m so glad that we still have ways to stay in touch (I really DO need to get on the ‘gram more). Re: judgy people, it’s friggin’ crazy and I never noticed it more than I do now. It makes me determined to NOT do the same, and I actively stop myself if I ever have a moment where I find judginess creeping in.

      You’re right, maintaining a blog whether or not you have kids is a 2nd job in itself – I wasn’t a superstar at posting before kids so it’s no surprise I could barely keep up afterward, ha. I think I was kind of burning out anyway, to be honest…I just haven’t felt the same excitement to blog as I did several years ago. I don’t even feel the urge much to READ blogs, either (though that’s more recent – I was still ALL over them until I went back to work, then I just could NOT keep up – I can’t multitask around the house and read a blog at the same time! Boo 😦 ).

      In any case, I think this is just something I have to do right now…things may change down the road, but I just felt bad being totally MIA for so long without saying something about it. Catch ya on the flipside (aka Instagram)! 🙂

  2. #3 by Eugenia on June 9, 2016 - 9:31 am

    Toya, I MISS YOU! First of all you’re 100% correct: you don’t owe anyone an explanation, but I totally get why you felt like you wanted to say something just the same.

    I’ve been pretty MIA in my commenting and it’s not because I stopped reading other people’s blogs, but because my life has really sped up over the last few years and some days it’s all I can do to keep up. Not complaining, mind you as I feel blessed and thoroughly enjoy being a part of the beauty world, but I do feel sad when I realize that some things/people unfortunately get left behind at times.

    Being a full-time mom is not only the most rewarding experiencing, but a 24/7 job; having a little one sometimes feels like the day extends way past 24 hours, so I fully understand where you’re at. I was fortunate that when I began my blog, my daughter was already in her teens at that point and relatively independent – made things a lot easier for me, but still a challenge on many other levels. While I still love blogging, I feel the pressures as well and every now and then I need to kick myself in the butt and remember that no one will place me before a firing squad if I don’t get XYZ post up. My family is – and always has been – my first priority, a point that is completely NON-NEGOTIABLE. So, do what you have to do because these precious moments with your daughter will only come by once and you totally should enjoy each and every single one. Plus, YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED!!! I didn’t know! (and it makes me sad that I didn’t know, but happy now that I do know!) and you so totally need to focus on that too, although with your attention to detail, I’m pretty sure it’s going to go off like clockwork! Congrats and I so totally cannot wait to see photos!

    By the way, the woman who said the “too much time on your hands” line, was a total douche. What a thoughtless thing to say; take it as a compliment that your nail-painting skills are THAT impressive!

    So, go and enjoy life – as Larie said, without this constant pressure to be ‘on’ and post, you’re probably going to feel a huge weight lift from your shoulders and be inspired to do so much more – and who knows where the future might go? You may even come back to this forum at some future point in your life when you feel the call for it. Either way, I’m so honoured to have gotten to know you over the years and definitely want to stay in touch!

    Sending you tons of love! xo

    • #4 by Latoya on June 9, 2016 - 2:08 pm

      Thank you, Eugenia!! I miss you too! I know what you mean about finding the time to read blogs (and also not complaining – I might be more strapped for time but I’m loving every minute with Elena! Well worth it 🙂 ) But as I said, I know I can always connect with you guys in other ways and feel confident that the bonds we’ve made are still as strong as ever. It makes my heart happy!

      Yes, that woman WAS a douche – it was just such a mom-shaming comment, which made me so mad – I didn’t internalize her comment because I know just how much time I DO have on my hands, but I know for some moms it probably would have made them feel like crap – and I am NOT ok with that!

      I really do feel better about having made this decision; while I’ll miss being more immersed in the blogging/beauty world, I mean – it’s not like I’ve been all that involved anyway, so rather than feel guilty about that I just need to accept that it doesn’t fit into my priorities right now. Maybe, like you say, I’ll come back to it down the road – goodness knows I’m always going to love beauty – but until then, I’ll let you guys rock it out and I can just enjoy it from the sidelines and cheer you all on 🙂 xoxox

  3. #5 by Amy on June 9, 2016 - 1:31 pm

    I am sad to see you go, but totally sympathetic! I need to write a post like this myself, but I keep putting it off… I can’t even imagine trying to work and parent (and redecorate and wedding plan!!), much less blog on top of that, so you have my greatest admiration 🙂 And you rock those painted nails and screw anyone’s judgment! I think it’s so great that you’re managing to prioritize the things that make you happiest. I’m really glad I got to “meet” you, and your posts will be missed ❤

    Instagram is my new haunt, too, and I love seeing pics and videos of Elena. And I can't wait to see the dress!!!

    • #6 by Latoya on June 13, 2016 - 8:26 am

      Thanks Amy! I’m sorry you’re in the same boat re: shutting down the blog – but I’m glad we have Instagram so we can still connect! I am definitely so glad we ‘met’…I still hold out hope that it’ll happen in person one day!!! And I can’t WAIT to show my dress, ahhh!! 😊😊😊

      Sent from my iPhone

      >

  4. #7 by Sarah on June 9, 2016 - 2:01 pm

    I’m very sad to see you go. Although I have not been as active in commenting, I have enjoyed reading. I completely understand and will keep following you on the ‘gram! Good luck with all the planning 🙂

    We are moving to Wolfville in July and I won’t be working outside the home right away. If you ever need another pair or hands or anything else at all, let me know!

    • #8 by Latoya on June 13, 2016 - 12:27 pm

      Moving to Wolfville!!!! Awesome!!! Thanks for the offer, I suspect you have enough to do yourself momma, but I’d love to visit you and the little one sometime!! That’s exciting news 🙂

      Sent from my iPhone

      >

  5. #9 by mrsdamn on June 9, 2016 - 8:55 pm

    No explanation needed but I totally understand 😘 will you be keeping the blog posts abailable for those who wish to reference them over time? X

  6. #10 by Beauty Reflections (@BeautyReflectTS) on June 10, 2016 - 2:38 pm

    I’m so sad! I will miss your blogging voice! It was one of my faves! But, Elena and YOU are important so I understand! I was thinking about quitting myself(AGAIN HAHA) but decided to stick around for a bit still, since I have my blog crap paid up until next year.
    Enjoy life! And I’m gonna enjoy watching Elena grow with your pics on Instagram! Love ya’ lots lady!

  7. #11 by Sarah @ Paths & Errands on June 25, 2016 - 11:42 pm

    I have been pretty out of the blogging loop for so long now, but I always loved checking into your blog & reading your words back in the Morsels days! You have a way of making me feel like I’m sitting here chatting away with you (which I still hope we can do someday, so you’ll have to keep me posted if you’re ever in the States)! Honestly I’m in awe of all you do, even now that you’re taking a step back from the blogging. I’ll see ya (& adorable Elena, she’s so presh!) around on Instagram 🙂 xoxox

    • #12 by Latoya on July 4, 2016 - 12:38 pm

      Thanks Sarah! I think that’s part of the loss for me too, the OG group of us made me so happy but we’ve dispersed quite a bit since those days and along with it has gone my get up and go. I still cherish those days though and I do SO hope we get to meet one day!! If I ever visit down that way (which is still in the books), I will be looking you up!

      Sent from my iPhone

      >

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