Hello and a Happy New Year to you all! I hope that 2016 has started on the right foot for everyone so far 🙂 The holidays, as usual, came and went lightning-fast and suddenly I only have 2 months left until I go back to work – yikes! I’m a bit anxious about returning to work but I feel like I fully enjoyed my maternity leave spending my days watching Elena grow and develop. She’s got such a personality now! She’s quick to smile and really just brightens my day, every day. I’m going to miss being with her 24/7 but I suppose I will just have to make sure I fully appreciate the moments I do spend with her!
Becoming a mom has obviously changed my life in a lot of ways. Whereas before my time was essentially my own to do as I please, it’s now dedicated to Elena and fulfilling her needs. I was and still am surprised at how easily I adapted to this change; being an only child I’ve come to fiercely love my alone time, but I haven’t minded having much (MUCH) less of it since she was born. Having said that, it does change how I spend those small windows of down time, and one of the first things to suffer has been this blog. It’s not that it isn’t important, or that I don’t love beauty as much as I used to (despite the fact that I wear much less makeup these days, I still obsess about beauty constantly)…but blogging requires effort, and I’m already at maximum output when Elena is up and about, bootin’ around the house. Mindless tasks are where it’s at when I have a moment to myself.
Clearly, I am at a crossroads. I can’t maintain a level of involvement with the blog anywhere near what I have in the past, but I’m also not ready to give up blogging yet either. I think what makes it difficult is when you’re blogging at a level in which you’ve got a bit of a reader base, you’ve made connections with people and other bloggers, and on top of it you’re receiving products from PR companies and brands, you feel like you have to maintain a certain output of posts, that you should be aiming for some level of success. But for me, I don’t blog to be ‘successful.’ I don’t blog to receive free product. I blog because I effing LOVE beauty and when I discovered there were other smart, badass people out there who also love beauty like I do, it opened up a whole new world for me. And that’s why I can’t let go, not just yet.
Basically, what I’m trying to say is that just because I haven’t posted in a few weeks, doesn’t mean I’m gone or that I’ll never post again. I realize that some readers aren’t ‘here for the ride’, they’re here just to read about new product and see swatches etc., and that my lack of posting might mean I’ll lose readers. It sucks, but the reality is that I just can’t keep up with that kind of demand. Ultimately, I just want to write, and talk about beauty, or even life if I’m feeling so inclined. All I can offer is me. If you’re reading because you like what I have to say, you like my obsessive list making, you like that I always ramble on longer than necessary – SWEET. Stick around, I’m not going anywhere. If you need more than that from me – I’m sorry, truly I am. I wish I could give everyone what they want, but that would mean I’d miss out on my OWN life; watching my little girl grow and enjoying being a mother. I can’t get that time back once it’s gone. At least I can rest assured that there are SO many other blogs out there that do what I do (did?), only MUCH BETTER.
OK, ramble over. Just needed to get that out there. I hope everyone is doing well and loving life in the present. I do have a couple of posts percolating in my mind so you may see something else from me soon. Or not. Depends on what life brings this week 😉
HUGS TO ALL XX